If you don't know me by now let me start by saying I've got entirely way too much time on my hands which inadvertently allows me to think too much. For the masses, thinking too much is a bad thing. I'm not talking like thinking is Fahrenheit 451 bad, I'm saying stupid people don't like people who think and more often than not they don't even know it.

I've said it once before and I'll say it again; thinking must be one of the hardest things a person can do which is why so few engage in it's practice.

You don’t expect much from a dog. Cats, lizards, goldfish, birds — the standard of expectations is low for animals. For instance, if a dog actually waits for you to let it outside to go pee, that’s the extent to which you're grateful. It’s hard to be disappointed by a dog because there's not much to them.

Now people, on the other hand, you expect a lot more from people. You expect them to be smart, or at least to have enough brain power to be able to defrost a burrito in a microwave without first having to watch a do-it-yourself YouTube video. Alas, they’re not. Half the time they can’t even figure out how to use YouTube in the first place.

Something I struggle with still is just because I think a certain way doesn't mean everyone else does.

I wish we had a rating system in which we were able to gage the level of stupidity people had. I mean, if we've got an IQ level for smart people than why not a Moron Quotient for stupid people? Probably because some moron would get offended. Well I'm offended by your level of stupidity.

Now I don’t want a bunch of people posting comments like, “If you don’t like stupid people then you must hate yourself” or “How can you tell?” or similar misguided retorts. But for those who won't listen I’d have to reply with something like, “Hey, jackass, I wrote this in the spirit of fictional humor, which someone who isn't stupid would have known without me having to tell them” and that would have been kind of mean and mean people also piss me off. That would run a risk of being the blunt end of my own pet peeve and I wouldn't want that.